


Unrequieted

by LivesToLead



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caught in the Act, Fjord and Caleb are in love, Friendship, He's numb, Heartbreak, Jester is a good friend, M/M, Molly loves Caleb, Molly sad drinking, Sad, Slight Crying, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, it's painful, kind of a Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 10:38:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14134362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LivesToLead/pseuds/LivesToLead
Summary: “Jester dear can you tell me if I’m still alive I can’t feel my pulse.” He jokes as he rolls up his sleeve and puts his wrist on display for her. “I can’t feel my heart beat either, I think I may be dead.” Molly’s smile never wavers as he looks up to stare her in the eye, if he didn’t know any better he would’ve guessed Jester was the heart broken one.





	Unrequieted

**Author's Note:**

> This came out longer and sadder then I thought it would be  
> So that a fair warning

Molly hated sad drunks. He honestly thought that Caleb would be one when he first met him, but instead he was quiet and happy, he also laughed a lot more, which Molly loved. 

But of course Molly loved that about Caleb. He loved everything Caleb did. Molly loved how he talked, laughed, walked, avoided eye contact, his blush, even the way he read a book. It was all so mesmerizing to him, there was nothing in this world that could possibly be better than Caleb in Molly’s mind. If someone ever asked him how he felt about Caleb he’d say, “He’s very bright and bit of a strange fellow.” and that’s all he would say. Which is probably why he was in the situation he was in right now. 

Anyway, Molly hated sad drunks, but he thought that tonight could be the exception, let himself wallow in self pity for one fucking night. 

“A round! Tonight we’re celebrating!” His words are enthusiastic, he hopes his volume hides the grief in his voice. 

Everyone’s happy as they smile and cheer, Molly smiles along and it’s like some kind of sick twisted game. He congratulates his friends while feeling his heart slowly wilt to nothing in his chest. They keep their arms around each other as they blush and Molly can’t help but think about how they look so perfect together, Caleb fits perfectly into Fjord’s side. Molly bites his tongue until he tastes blood, he keeps smiling. 

Now the happy couple hadn’t come out together on their own, no. Molly was the unwilling participant in the process, they were going to tell the group eventually, but Molly just happened to speed up the process. The best part was the irony. 

It was earlier in the night as he thought to himself,  _ Today’s the day, your going to look him straight in the eye say I love you and kiss him before he has time to reject you, that way he doesn’t really have a choice.  _  He  _ laughed _ , he thought it was  _ funny _ , he thought he and Caleb were going to laugh and talk about it years later while they shared their thousandth kiss. Molly was always overly confident. He entered the bedroom Caleb shared with Nott expecting to see the wizard sitting and reading in the way that Molly loved so much, mostly because he bit his lip in a way that made him want to pull it from his teeth and kiss him, but instead found Caleb and _ Fjord. _

It really was quite a sight and honestly he was so shocked that he slammed the door closed to process the image of Caleb on his back and Fjord between his knees as they kissed each other, before opening it again to see them scrambling off of each other. Now if they were naked Molly was sure he would’ve had a stroke, but since they were clothed he just stared. They were both eager to explain talking over each other frantically, blushing brighter than Molly had ever seen, he was glad he decided to laugh in that moment instead of vomit because that would’ve been awkward to explain. He laughed, and laughed and laughed and  _ laughed _ , Molly laughed so hard there were tears in his eyes. He was here to confess, when the object of his affections was underneath someone else, it was hilarious. Caleb and Fjord stood their flustered and confused as to what to do as they watched their tiefling friend laugh his ass off. When Molly finally came to his senses and wiped away his tears away he gave them both the biggest smile he could manage, looking back it was probably overkill. 

“Well well well, what have we here?” Molly asked as he approached the two men. “Two lovers?” 

It’s a joke of course, but on Molly’s part it’s more of a desperate plea that this is just a quick hook up that’s only happened the once and it means nothing, but he gets his answer in the quick side glances they throw each other. Molly’s smile falters but only for a second, which he’s sure they don’t catch. He throws his arms around each of their shoulders and squeezes them in close.

“Congrats lads I’m so happy for you.” He manages to make the words sound genuine and they take it as so.

When downstairs Fjord and Caleb explain about how long they’ve been together, a month  _ waste of his time _ though he knows Caleb could never be a waste of his time. How they got together, Fjord almost dying  _ cliche _ . Why, Fjord was selfless and Molly already knew why Caleb was so great  _ unfortunately _ and god damn it they were already in love,  _ shit _ . Molly couldn’t feel his own heart beat anymore and was pretty sure he didn’t have a pulse anymore. They were so happy and cheerful and Molly regrets not throwing up earlier. Everyone asks for more and more and more, detail after detail, he grits his teeth and finally leaves the table when Jester starts asking the more than  _ personal _ questions. 

He orders a round of shots for the bar and then continues on his own watching from the distance as Caleb sinks into Fjords side, probably the most affectionate he’s ever been when not drunk. Molly puts the pieces together and thinks back on the past month, Fjord always stayed in front of Caleb no matter the situation, Caleb gravitated towards Fjord more than before, Fjord was always insistent on carrying Caleb off to bed despite Molly’s many offers, Caleb clung to Fjord like he was a life raft, Fjord disappearing late at night. Molly orders something stronger and revels in the way the alcohol burns his throat. 

“Hey stranger.” Molly turns at the voice to see Jester sit at on the stool next to him with a smile.

“Hello, to what do I owe the pleasure Jester?” He smiles at her as he takes another soothing shot. 

“I just wanted to make sure you were ok.” She says it so casually that Molly almost misses the pity hidden in her tone.

“I’m great, what makes you ask.” He ignores it by turning his gaze away from her, if he ignores her and everything else he’ll be great, like he said.

“Molly.” Jester puts her hand on top of the glass before it can reach Molly’s mouth, he looks at her and she’s never looked so serious. “It’s ok if your sad, just please don’t get lost in the bottom of a bottle.” Molly puts the glass down pursing his lips, his hands aching for his cards.

“Ok.” He taps his nails on the countertop as Jester continues to stare at him. “What is it you want?” Molly’s voice comes out harsher then he means, but she remains unaffected.

“How long?” Her tone is filled with sympathy as she sets her folded arms on the counter, he lets out a bitter laugh.

“Since I met him.” He wants to reach for the glass, but he thinks Jester would smack his hand if he tried. “Feels like forever though.”

“Hm.” She hums and lets a small smile pass on her lips and sets her head on her arms. “Tell me what you like about him.” Jesters feet slowly swing back and forth. 

“ _ Like _ about him?” Molly laughs and this time it’s more exhausted than anything. “Darling no, love, you mean to ask what I  _ love _ about him.” Jester squints a bit at him as he continues. “As for that question. Everything, I love everything about him and all his imperfections.” He smiles almost wistfully.

“I had no idea it was love.” She mutters as she sits up. “Here,” she slides the glass over to Molly, “but it’s the last one.” Jester warns and he gives her nod before downing the liquid, he’s grateful. “Why didn’t you say anything?” 

“I was going to,” Molly explains as he turns to face her fully, “but you see as I walked in to profess my undying love for Caleb, he seemed a bit preoccupied with Fjord’s tongue.” His flashes her his fangs in a smile and winks, he hopes his voice doesn’t sound as broken as he feels. “Jester dear can you tell me if I’m still alive I can’t feel my pulse.” He jokes as he rolls up his sleeve and puts his wrist on display for her. “I can’t feel my heart beat either, I think I may be dead.” Molly’s smile never wavers as he looks up to stare her in the eye, if he didn’t know any better he would’ve guessed Jester was the heart broken one. 

“Oh Molly.” Jester’s voice is quiet and dejected as she rushes forward and wraps her arms around him in a hug. 

He brings his arms up to reciprocate the hug. “Is anyone down stairs?” Molly asks muffled against her shoulder, he feels his eyes begin to swell with tears.

“No it’s just you and me.” She whispers. “It’s ok to cry if you want to, I won’t tell anyone, tiefling to tiefling.” Molly lets out a watery laugh as he backs up to look at her. 

“Thank you, but I’m not going to cry, not tonight.” He promises and before he can think he kisses her.

Jester let’s him, she lets him grab her by the back of her head, pull her in closer and deepen the kiss, she lets him grab her by the waist and she even indulges herself a bit by putting her hands up to touch the expanse of his bare chest. Molly sees how far she’ll let him go and takes it step further by biting down on her lip, she opens her mouth for him and it’s suddenly too much. It’s heated yes, but she’s not Caleb, it means nothing and it doesn’t fill the hole in Molly’s chest. Slowly and gently Jester pushes Molly away just a little bit and he immediately pulls away, he expects her to be angry, but instead she gives him a small smile. 

“It’s okay.” Jester pats his chest twice before bringing her hands down to her sides. “I’m not angry, I know you’re not thinking, that and I tasted all the drinks you had.” Molly feels himself blush a bit as Jester scrunches her nose up playfully. “Let’s go to bed.” He doesn’t say anything and let’s her take his hand and lead him upstairs. 

Jester makes him wait at the end of the hall as she checks the rooms and leads him to Caleb and Nott’s room and Molly immediately feels weight drop in his stomach at the realization that Caleb’s not in his room. He immediately wishes that he was back downstairs drinking away his pain or even kissing Jester to forget about his unrequited love. Nott’s in the room, Molly suspects she’s fallen asleep in Jester and Beau’s room which she did on occasion, and now that he thought about it she’s been doing it more often than usual. Molly refuses the urge to run back down stairs.

“Do you want me to stay?” Jester asks softly from the doorway seeing the pained expression on her friends face. 

“You don’t-” Jester cuts him off before he can get much further. 

“I don’t have to do a lot of shit Molly, I just do what I can.” She shrugs and Molly looks down at her with a fond smile.

“Then yes, stay.” He pats her shoulder.

The two begin to prepare for bed in silence, once their down to their sleeping clothes Molly prays over his swords and Jester writes and draws in her book for the traveler, she waits for Molly to finish before slipping under the covers. They face each other, it’s a bit uncomfortable due to their horns but they stay on their sides and Jester smiles.

“This is fun we’re having a tiefling slumber party, I’ve never had one of these before.” Molly lets out a little laugh at her enthusiastic tone. 

“Jester.” He leans in a bit closer to whisper. “Thanks.” 

Jester smiles wider before leaning in closer to snuggle against his chest, Molly leans into the contact and relaxes himself a bit. It’s silent as they sink into sleep. 

“Jester.” Molly says again looking down at her, she looks up. 

“Hm?” She hums in question, and he leans down, she quickly puts her finger up to his lips. “While I wouldn’t mind, I don’t have pity sex and I don’t think you’ll feel any better in the morning.” Jester explains and continues as a whisper. “Your very drunk Molly and we work better as friends than anything else.” He nods and Jester smiles. “Good night Molly.” 

“Good night Jester.”

She didn’t patronize him or make him feel smaller for his actions, Jester made sure he knew she didn’t care that he was making a complete ass of himself, she just wanted to make sure he was ok. He woke up the next morning with a headache, but no regret, he made sure to thank Jester for her kindness and not taking advantage of his vulnerable state. She nodded, smiled and gave him hug letting him know she’d always be there for him. The morning was good up until he decided to walk out of the room, of course the first person he saw that morning would be Caleb walking back to his room, where all his stuff was. Caleb and Molly both stopped when Molly exited the room, Jester came out from behind Molly and skipped past both of them to presumably to go wake up Beau and Nott, she shot them both a smile before disappearing from sight. 

“Have a fun night last night?” Caleb asks gesturing to the room, Molly looks over his shoulder before back at the wizard. 

“Most definitely,” Molly smirks, “your bed may be a bit broken, but I’m sure it’ll work just fine for when you and Fjord use it.” It’s like putting another spear in his own heart, but he has to tease, to joke, if he doesn’t they’d think something was wrong with him. 

“Great.” Caleb blushes with an inkling of a smile as he begins to walk towards the room again, he stops when Molly doesn’t move from his path. 

Molly wants his feet to move but instead his wilted and speared heart speeds up like it usually does when Caleb gets close and like he suspected it hurts. Molly and Caleb look at each other for a moment, and Molly feels Caleb really  _ look _ at him, he fears he may see right through him. At the same time, he doesn’t want it to stop, Caleb doesn’t look at anyone, he hates it and yet he’s taking a moment to stand in front of Molly and just look at him. The way Caleb is looking has Molly worried that his poker face isn’t up and he’s telling him exactly how much he’s enjoying this moment, how much he loves him.

“Fjord’s a lucky man.” Molly tries to make the words sweet and genuine, instead they come out a bit bitter behind slightly gritted teeth as he smiles. 

The words are genuine of course they are, Fjord’s lucky that he gets every part of Caleb and gets to love and hold him. Molly didn’t think of murder when he first saw them together, but it certainly wasn’t delight. If anything Caleb looks more confused and looks harder and it’s Molly who looks away first looking down at their feet.

“Sorry, I’m a  _ bit  _ hungover.” Molly laughs to himself as he looks back up. “I was so drunk last night Jester had to put me to bed, could barely take care of myself.” He watches as Caleb confused stare disappears and is replaced with slight amusement. 

“Next time stick to water.” Is Caleb says as he pat’s Molly on the shoulder and moves into his room.

Molly smiles as he moves toward his room and keeps it there because the next person he has to see is Fjord, his unknown rival who had won, he didn’t even have a fighting chance. He doesn’t say anything as he enters the room and Fjord doesn’t offer any words, it’s silent and they don’t talk. Tension grows between the two, Molly can feel it against his back as he goes through his things, not looking for anything, just looking, he suspects he must’ve misplaced his will to live, though he knows it now belongs to Fjord. They leave the room without a word and even after their out of the room and away from each other Molly still can’t breathe. 

The days come and go, Fjord and Caleb start rooming together and Molly and Nott decide that rooming together would be fun and if Molly was being honest the goblin girl was able to keep his mind occupied with other things that don’t hurt. Jester would sometime join them in their room, mostly to see if Molly was alright, but it helped that Nott was in there. The tension between Molly and Fjord stayed, but it started to lessen day by day as Molly had stopped talking to Caleb all together. Not on purpose of course, it hurt too much, every time he was around or walked towards Molly his heart sped up and it immediately reminded him of the poor excuse of a heart in his chest and how wounded it was. So avoiding him wasn’t on purpose, it was need just so he wouldn’t hurt, he was protecting himself. Each day it got better, but it also got worse, having to watch the two men together and laugh and touch and kiss and do all things he wish he could, well it was turning him bitter. 

They were on the road again, they were traveling somewhere Molly didn’t care to listen, he just didn’t care. They stopped somewhere near a stream, it was a little walk into the woods but nothing too bad, so everyone could wash up a bit. They set up camp easily enough, Caleb set’s up his wire, Jester and Nott get wood, Beau and Fjord look for anything to hunt down for a late night dinner. Molly goes into the woods wanting to be alone in the dark forest. He stops when he gets to the stream and sits down at the edge of it and looks at the reflection of the moon in water not wanting to look up. He’s not surprised Jester comes out and sits down next to him, she asks if he wants to talk, he says nothing and she leans her head against his shoulder. After awhile she gets up and leaves telling him she’ll tell the others that he wasn’t hungry, he was grateful but didn’t say anything and continued to look at the moon's reflection. 

“You should come back to camp.” He flinches at the words and the accent that comes with it. 

“I’m fine thank you, I think the moon looks beautiful from here.” Molly calls over his shoulder, he hears soft footsteps coming towards him. He’s pretty sure his heart is bleeding.

“Your looking down.” Molly doesn’t turn around when the voice is directly behind him. 

“Ya see Caleb, the moon looks so magnificent in the stream, that I may just be disappointed when I look up.” He explains and does one of the hardest things and turns around.

He’s always been beautiful in the moonlight, he once heard Fjord say that the light of the sun looked the best on Caleb and Molly had to bite his tongue from disagreeing. The moon light was what made him look at his absolute best. It hit his pale skin and made him glow and his freckles stand out, his eyes shone so bright he thought they were the moon, and it accentuated his facial structure that showed every curve of his face. It made him look especially beautiful, Molly could really see him from where he was, he didn’t even need to see the moon to see something extraordinary tonight. 

“You’ve been distant.” It’s a simple sentence and yet it sounds like a death sentence. Caleb was calling him out.

“Have not,” Molly responds, “I’ve just been thinking about joining another circus, nothing to get upset about.” It was true, because in circuses there were no Caleb’s.

“You can’t be serious Molly.” Caleb’s voice is disbelieving looking down at him with what looks like concern.

“Partially.” Molly somewhat mumbles as he begins to pick himself up off the ground, his heart painfully thundering as he thinks of his next words. “I just need to get away from an unreciprocated love.” He gives Caleb a tight smile as he faces him, he was never one to hold back his tongue. 

It’s too much information too fast. “Unreciprocated? Molly.” Caleb gives a bit of an uncomfortable laugh as he looks around. “I’m sure Jester returns your feelings if you just-”

“Not Jester.” Molly words are grating as they slice through Caleb’s sentence quick and sharp, Caleb looks surprised. 

Caleb doesn’t finish, but thinks for a moment and hesitantly starts his new question. “How do you know it’s unrequited?” 

Molly is quick to answer again wanting to get it out of the way. “How long ago was it that I found you in bed with Fjord?” He asks, because he’s honestly lost track of the days. 

“Oh.” That’s it, that’s all Molly gets from Caleb as they both look at the ground. 

Molly begins to walk up stream, he hears Caleb follow close behind, but never walking by his side. 

“A-Are you sure?” Caleb asks and Molly whips around quickly.

“Am I sure? God damn it Caleb!” Molly yells, he almost regrets it when he sees Caleb flinch. “I loved- I _ love _ you. Am I sure. For fucks sake, everytime I’m near you my entire heart goes fucking berserk that on top of the pain of seeing you with Fjord every fucking day. God and I put myself through that torture because I can’t bare to part with you. Fuck!” It all unloads in front of Caleb, Molly doesn’t care anymore he could just go die after this. “God when I saw you in bed with Fjord I wanted to vomit, I couldn’t feel anything I was numb for at least two days straight, what the hell!” Molly has been pacing back and forth, he doesn’t give a damn if anyone hears, if Fjord hears and comes beat him to a pulp, he won’t care. 

Caleb says nothing and watches him for a long time watching as Molly curses himself and Caleb out continuously, he’s bright red at Molly’s confession and compliments? 

“Molly.” His voice is only a bit above a whisper but Molly stops anyway to look at him. “Why didn’t you tell me months ago?” Caleb asks as he takes Molly’s arms in his hands holding him still. 

“What difference would it have made?” Molly resists the urge to spit to get away to do anything so Caleb would let go, but his heart hummed happily in his chest. 

“Molly, I was, I was in love with you a few months ago.” He waits for the joke and when Caleb doesn’t look away from him, he squeezes his eyes shut and a single tear makes it way from his eye. 

“Take it back.” It’s a demand that Caleb doesn’t follow and he shakes his head and repeats as Caleb sighs. “Take it back Caleb. Take it back.” Molly rips himself away from the wizard and steps back.

“I-I can’t.” At this point even Caleb can feel regret filling himself. “I was in love with you and you didn’t seem to care about me, you were off one night with someone else and then the next night you’d be by my side and I was confused and I just thought you wanted a quick fuck. I didn’t know.” Caleb explains quickly looking down at the ground, Molly shakes his head. 

“I don’t want to hear it. Stop talking.” Molly brings his hands up to his ears, but he can still hear everything.

Caleb can’t stop himself. “Fjord showed that he cared, he was always there, he grew on me.” 

“Stop.” Molly’s voice is quiet as he pleads, he’s too quiet and Caleb doesn’t hear him.

“We ended up spending more time together, he told me he was in love with me and I couldn’t deny that I had gained feelings for him.”

“Caleb stop.” 

“I fell in love with him.” The words are too fond and Molly’s control breaks.

“ **_Stop Talking._ ** ” 

It’s silent and Caleb clutches his chest and looks at the tiefling with shock, Molly can feel his entire body still as he watches. Infernal is dangerous and he just used it on Caleb. Infernal hurts and he just used it on Caleb. He’s not sure what to do.

Caleb keeps his hand to his chest and stands up straight and slowly walks towards Molly, it’s quiet except for the running stream and the sound of the wind blowing through the trees. He and Molly are now eye to eye. 

“I fell in love with him, but I never stopped loving you.” Caleb looks Molly straight in the eye when he speaks and his words are hard as he takes deep breaths. 

Molly’s stopped breathing all together. “You can’t just say that.” He wipes away a single tear that had fell away earlier. “I might do something crazy.”

He doesn’t wait for Caleb’s response and does the something crazy. Molly grabs him by the back of the head and presses their lips together. Caleb doesn’t resist or make any moves to get away, but kisses back. Molly can’t help himself and presses into Caleb with all his might. Every bit of him going into showing Caleb how much he loves him, wants him, needs him. He’s unattainable, but this is the only time and chance he gets to have Caleb all to himself. Caleb brings a hand up to curl into Molly’s hair and he memorizes every touch and feel Caleb allows him. They pull apart when air is a must and Molly immediately puts his head onto Caleb’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Molly repeats himself over and over and over as Caleb pets his hair, fat tears spill from his eyes and he can’t stop them.

Molly’s not sure what he’s sorry for. Sorry for using Infernal. Sorry for not giving Caleb the appreciation he needed to feel loved. Sorry for not telling Caleb he loved him sooner. Sorry that he kissed him while he was in love with Fjord. Sorry that he didn’t kiss him before he belonged to someone else. He was just sorry and at this point it was all he could do was to say sorry. 

“I’m sorry too.” Caleb’s voice wavers and he looks up to see the way his eyes turn red. Molly knows what he’s sorry for. Sorry it was too late for them. Molly was sorry for that too.

They stand there, filled with regret and Molly looks at the moon behind Caleb. 

He decides it looks better in the sky, all beautiful things should stay out of reach.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if you got sad  
> Feed back appreciated  
> Thanks for reading


End file.
